8-13-10

Well I sure haven't felt like this in a while. This sort of feeling has been foreign to me for so long I almost fortgot it existed. School couldn't have gone by slower today. Focusing during the first week has started to fade. I'm not sure what exactly gets into you in a situation like this, but it takes control and there's nothing you can do about it. All the things that were being so built up are really over now. Thought I'd be able to handle this better, but I've surprised myself...maybe not. I knew it'd be like this, I just tried to ignore how bad it would suck. I've been dreading this for a while and now, in a meer few hours, I'm suppose to just start letting go like everything's okay. I couldn't sleep. Waking up to what I've been dreading is probably the worst thing I've experienced in a while. It was all put in reality and I wasn't ready for it. It's hard to be optimistic when you're stuck back where you started. Everyone else is okay because they don't know the half of it, but I'm still going through things they couldn't imagine. Even if I tried, nothing could replace it. And that's just what he doesn't get.