Bad Day

Today was horrible. Being annoyed isn't fun at all. Thismorning I thought..cool its picture day,maybe it'll be a good day.. NOPE. Well, everything went well till school started. After that, everything pretty much went down hill. 3 horrible test grades in 1 week...Definitely not used to that one, and SO many people are annnoying. Not focusing on some things, like I'm trying to do, just makes me stressed on others. It's like I can never win. I'm trying to be optimistic with a good attitude, but things aren't exactly a matter that you can blow off. Literally failing at something doesnt fly by me, and It's happening. Gotta step it up.

-L

8-13-10

Well I sure haven't felt like this in a while. This sort of feeling has been foreign to me for so long I almost fortgot it existed. School couldn't have gone by slower today. Focusing during the first week has started to fade. I'm not sure what exactly gets into you in a situation like this, but it takes control and there's nothing you can do about it. All the things that were being so built up are really over now. Thought I'd be able to handle this better, but I've surprised myself...maybe not. I knew it'd be like this, I just tried to ignore how bad it would suck. I've been dreading this for a while and now, in a meer few hours, I'm suppose to just start letting go like everything's okay. I couldn't sleep. Waking up to what I've been dreading is probably the worst thing I've experienced in a while. It was all put in reality and I wasn't ready for it. It's hard to be optimistic when you're stuck back where you started. Everyone else is okay because they don't know the half of it, but I'm still going through things they couldn't imagine. Even if I tried, nothing could replace it. And that's just what he doesn't get.

Closer

Its sneeking up on me. Suddenly being 16 isn't that great. Now being 16 means other things are close to come, things that I would rather not come at all. There's about a week till school starts up again, and that's pretty much the end of it. There's always that thought in the back of my mind that things will work out and it won't end, but it's going to. The way I've been living the past few months is soon to be gone and so will the things in it. Live it up is what they say to do but sometimes it's not that easy. Too much is about to happen in too little of time. This should be interesting..

-L

Bitter Sweet

With every beginning, comes an ending, but doesn't it seem like all the good starts end with a bad finish? It's almost like it's too good to be true. The past few months so many awesome things have happened to me and I'm thankful that they happened to me of all people. Recently all my life has been about is relaxing, taking it easy, living in the moment, and falling back into the reckless ways of summer. Its almost time to end all of that, and it's just now hitting me. I've worked myself up about a lot of things that I knew would end and I've had the mind set that those moments would never change. So much has changed with me in the sense of friends, family, and how I live my life. I think it's safe to say that I'll have some of the best memories to look back on, and when I do I'll know it was worth it... It's just gonna be the big bang back into reality that will kill me. See you in hell?

-L

Tired Of It

Ever just wanna be alone? Ever get tired of every one else? I don't understand why people worry about things so much..especially when it has nothing to do with them. Sometimes people should just deal with themselves instead of other people. Trust is a great thing to have, but it's so much easier when you know the truth and don't have to worry about telling others that could say false things. If you don't tell anyone, no one has any proof of anything at all. Let them assume what they want, as long as you're content with yourself no one else matters. I'm not saying you have to be mean; I'm simply pointing out the fact that in the long run, there's a higher chance of them not mattering at all. Just do you, and let them make entertainment out of whatever they please. In your life you have to do the things that make you happy, you'll regret it otherwise.

"Never pay attention to the rumors and what they assume." -Drake

-L

New to This

Well, I'm not exactly sure why I decided to make this in the wee hours of the morning..but I'd say it has something to do with late night inspiration. I figured I could use this blog to let out whatever it was that I felt needed to be said. I hope someone else out there can use this as an inspirational tool in their life. If not, I'll just continue using it for me. Recently I upgraded from my bike to my first car. My birthday isn't for about another month so it's just sitting in my driveway, but im very thankful for that. I feel that this picture captures the many sides of me. The car is a symbol of growing up and gaining a new sense of freedom, but the tie dye shirt and the birthday hat say that there's still a kid inside. A lot of things happen as you grow up, people change, you realize things, and most importantly you begin to learn who you really are. I'm definitely still in the process of growing up, so there will be lots to update you on. In the meantime, I need to work on getting my body clock back in check.

-L